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lavenderfleuretI took the day off yesterday. It didn't help much, but whatever it did, I think it chipped away ever so slightly at this terrible fog I'm feeling. I haven't been able to write lately. Writer's block. I will try and push out 300 words tonight, then spend the rest of the week editing.
It doesn't help I have my thesis work due in just over a week, either. As well as, another assignment due August 1st.
God, how time flies?
I've been very tired and sleepy this week. Tomorrow, I plan to get out of the house and work at the office. Then, I invited Jude to try out the new Korean place that opened about a block away from us for dinner, called Seoul Pocha. Here's hoping its a good experience.
I wish I could just rest for a long, long time. I wish you could put me to bed, and make all the worry go away. Even if it's just for a while. Last year, around December, I told myself (or, I told a co-worker, at least) that I'd start putting more effort into pursuing some sort of romance. The thought escapes me the moment I think it. I don't need it. That's true. My life has always been a question of what I need versus what I want, only prioritizing the former and deliberately neglecting the latter. I do not need a relationship; therefore, I do not have one. If I keep living like this, I fear what will become of me.
There's something to be said about how slow and dull my life is, right now. I desperately wish for something to happen. I was meaning to apply to talk at another conference, but the energy to find one escapes me. Additionally, I cannot find anything that is taking place within the next 6 months that aligns with my chosen topic. I should really pay more attention to my career goals... whatever they are. The thought of a "career" makes me want to disembowel myself standing up.
It doesn't help I have my thesis work due in just over a week, either. As well as, another assignment due August 1st.
God, how time flies?
I've been very tired and sleepy this week. Tomorrow, I plan to get out of the house and work at the office. Then, I invited Jude to try out the new Korean place that opened about a block away from us for dinner, called Seoul Pocha. Here's hoping its a good experience.
I wish I could just rest for a long, long time. I wish you could put me to bed, and make all the worry go away. Even if it's just for a while. Last year, around December, I told myself (or, I told a co-worker, at least) that I'd start putting more effort into pursuing some sort of romance. The thought escapes me the moment I think it. I don't need it. That's true. My life has always been a question of what I need versus what I want, only prioritizing the former and deliberately neglecting the latter. I do not need a relationship; therefore, I do not have one. If I keep living like this, I fear what will become of me.
There's something to be said about how slow and dull my life is, right now. I desperately wish for something to happen. I was meaning to apply to talk at another conference, but the energy to find one escapes me. Additionally, I cannot find anything that is taking place within the next 6 months that aligns with my chosen topic. I should really pay more attention to my career goals... whatever they are. The thought of a "career" makes me want to disembowel myself standing up.
Sorry about being so depressing. I promise, I'm fine. I'm sometimes happy. I'm about to attempt writing, and the thesis is going faster than expected.
I've been reading Pride and Prejudice, and I love it. I read Emma back in high school, but at this point, high school is so far behind me and so much of a muddled memory that I can scarcely recall what it was about. I do have to say, I thoroughly enjoy Austen's writing. I've added her to my favourites of Atwood and Plath. I would really like to find some more female poets and authors, now that I have more time and money for reading.
